Holding place within space

Space, place … Place, space… Office space, office place? Personal place, personal space?

I think and feel that place is one of permanance. There is a name, there is ownership. It has an embossed nature.

Space, on the related flip side, is one of transience. Things come and go within the space, and space comes and goes. It is impermenant, renewable.

I wondered what the heck this had to do with anything. Then, the little voice spoke:

Carry your personal place within yourself, your heart and being, then whatever space u occupy, there you’ll be.

Random ramblings, stumbling upon some Truth… I love my crazy mind, it leads me all over the place and then checking into where I need to be 🙂

Bummer, Gift – same same.

Today felt like a bummer – heard back from the HR Manager that I’ve not gotten the position that I’ve put out and wanted so much.

“The approval didn’t go through. I’m so sorry, we tried our best and were hoping that you could come onboard too.”

I was in shock, denial, couldn’t believe what I had just heard. My “golden opportunity” that I’ve been waiting for had just been taken from me. Huge heartbreaking pain. A sadness, an immense sense of loss.

“That can’t be it. They said they were going to offer me the position. Why is this happening to me? Is this even true? I trusted them. I trusted Life. What’s going to happen to me now? Am I ever going to get a meaningful position?”

And having stayed present to however I was feeling, it was a struggle. The heart-wrenching pain of feeling like something so precious has been taken from you. The sense of loss, of grief, of utter helplessness. I felt like I was free-falling.

So I turned to The Journey to guide me forward, with a mini-process on staying grateful in the midst of difficult circumstances. Truth arose, and Truth was:

Know whatever comes unexpected to be a gift from Life; and it will surely serve you if you use it to its fullest.

  • Gratitude for the connections that took place. Gratitude for the opportunities that arose, and those that lie around and ahead of me that I do not yet see.
  • Openness in exploring every possibility to seek out the best pathway forward
  • Trusting in myself. Trusting in Life to continue to carry me on. Trusting in the mystery that is Life itself.

I do not yet know what my next steps are, but I am now more excited to continue walking my path. I’m thankful also for being able to see and understand that this sense of loss arose because of my attachment to it – I felt like it was already mine (when it was not).

Because, how can u lose something that was never yours to begin with?

Yes, today was a bummer. And I also know, today is a gift. The day that I will know why is a mystery, and I am excited to be moving closer to it.

Be a kid, once again.

  
Went to the library today to check out some books. So spent an hour or so, just reading in this spot. The children’s section: my tree house. And it comes complete with squirrels,rabbits, butterflies, trees and fungi. Awesome!

Being a child today felt like literally being a child; reading books alongside kids who were learning the alphabet and animals and numbers and colors.

So grateful for simply taking the time, sitting in a corner, resting on a ‘tree bark’, and getting absorbed into a book on Quiet Leadership. 

Indeed a beautiful life, if we allowed our inner kids to come out and be, just once in a while.

the Shambhavi – the one who walks in the shadows

Been a short hiatus from writing. Apologies for my laziness, allowed it to get the better of me.

Had a great weekend sitting with Sadhguru, alongside 2000 other lovers of Truth. We were in the company of the divine, learning the how-to for Shambhavi Mahamudra Kriya. It is a life process, a profound 21minute meditation.

A sublime process of turning inward – and today I am on day 2 of the 40day sadhana.

As I went through the programme, and reflecting back now, some Truth arises for me:

  • Be the flower, a lotus flower. If Life would have it, let me be that which transmutes filth into fragrance, mud into beauty.
  • Let my joyful nature touch and inspire those around me, so that they too can know joy and bliss. Plant these seeds
  • #UndercoverYogi – I can work and play in “normal” areas of life and yet abide by my spiritual nature. It was never a compromise.
  • I have enough space within me to love every single being in our Earth. There is a boundless love within me, always. And with that, I can unconditionally accept everyone. Love one, Love all.
  • Be a joyful and sensible person. Focusing not on being right (for morality and ethicality at times involves judgment). If I am joyful and sensible, I will always be doing the right things.
  • Appreciate every magical moment of being alive – for Life is a gift itself, the most precious gift. And knowing that THIS MOMENT is unique and unevitable.
  • Throw myself into whatever I’m doing with absolute abandon. What I put in, I get to take out. 100% in, 100% out.
  • Be like a child. Drop all concepts, ideas, knowledge, and pretending to know it all and figure it all out. See things with a fresh perspective. Look and see with new eyes.
  • Be equanimity. Be that small gap. I am not the body, I am not even the mind. I am.

Heartfelt gratitude, overflowing thankfulness for being able to be awakened to another dimension. Thanks to Sadhguru and the Isha Foundation for holding the space for this seed to be planted. Thanks also to my fellow friends who came together to hold each other in such an embrace.

With blessings, may we continue to know ourselves and to be blissful every single moment. May all this be our choice, and may the people we touch experience this too.

And as I continue explore and get in touch my very nature, I will ask myself this every night: today, have I become just a little bit more joyful?

Aum shanti, and much love.