Day 31/100: chancing upon a revelation, I feel devastated and in shock

Today I got to know that I have been lied to (big time) by someone since last July – 7 months of dishonesty.

The pain, the shock, the devastation of finally finding out the truth. It hurts so much.

Truth is what is, what has been, and what will be.

Am feelin so in between spaces now; not sure what’s coming up, not sure what’s happening, not sure how and who am I now, and not sure how to respond. I guess i need time and space to reintegrate and get footing and grounding on what’s arising.

May self-care and self-love pave the way to acceptance of the present moment.

How do you cope with such unwanted surprises and revelations? What do you do when you are betrayed? How do you even start to think about rebuilding trust?

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Day 30/100: getting rained out again today, I feel frustrated and some resignation

Today was a total washout again- it rained and misted and spitted the entire day. Spent the day driving around, going to places to find them too wet to explore or closed for the day. I felt like giving up.

Felt like I was going around in circles trying to seek out some form of travel experience in the places I was visiting. Felt like there was nothing except the cold, grey, and wet. Felt like the vacation was all going to crap. A deep sense of frustration brewed inside of me.

And I tried to stay connected to the belief that travel can be spontaneous and experienced in whatever way and in whatever form or context. Fucking tough.

Travel opens up our minds, our hearts, and our perspectives – we see, feel, and understand things we otherwise would not

Through the rain-dotted windscreen, through the misty fog; peering out into what seemed to be endless drizzle. I see myself feeling discontented and slightly resigned.

And what have I understood from today’s experience: that I can continue to learn to be flexible, and to flow with what the situation brings. Then, perhaps next time I can respond better when “plans” do not go as planned.

How do you respond to uncontrollable changes in plans? What is your recipe for dealing with unwanted change?

Day 29/100: castle-hopping on a dreary sunday, I felt (surprisingly) filled with a sense of exploration and wonder

It was a sunday without sun; the day was grey and dreary and meh. The rain never abated, and the grounds never felt itself dry. The winds came and gone, and the fog stayed behind for company. 

And yet, it was a day of castle-hopping in Wales: visiting and exploring Castle Coch and Castle Caerphilly. They were astounding and beautiful and charming – i love castles, they hold much history, memory, and lost time…

The greatest castle is that of your own heart and mind – cultivate beautiful inner gardens and cherish thoughts of meaning. Keep not people out, but open them to the world in communion.

It was such a gift to be able to explore these grounds (despite the bleah weather) – such wonder in climbing up narrow winding staircases, and opening into rooms, chambers, and landings. And imagining how people had once lived and made a life within these walls. Amazing.

If you could build and design a castle for yourself, what would it look like? And what special features would you add in? 🏰

Day 28/100: wandering around cold and damp Cardiff, I feel rather warm on the inside and slightly melancholic

Today was a beautiful day out – the sun came out to play for the most part of the day. And yet it was still cold and damp and wet. The park was beautiful, such greenery and it felt welcome to stroll through curated nature.

Seeing the many family pics on whatsapp and facebook, I am brought aware of my slight melancholy in missing my family and friends back home – but there is also a warmness on the inside. That although we are apart for now, the memories and love we carry always bond us together.

Absence doesn’t make the heart fonder – it makes the heart wiser. It helps surface what is really important in Life.

And, today’s word for me is: companionship, the beingness in a relationship between people. We cannot do companionship, we can only be in companionship with the people we love and cherish.

So, how is companionship showing up in your life? And what do you have in place, to better be in companionship with others?

Day 27/100: flying off by myself while everyone is with their family (for new year’s), I feel strangely free and liberated

So I’m spending the lunar new year’s apart from the family, and jetting off made me feel a strange liberation and freedom.
Its like kicking off old traditions, throwing off the responsibility of shoulds and musts, and taking on a new coat of possibility – what if I were to make decisions based what I really need right here and now?

Many people have liberty, but no freedom. (Unknown)

Let’s reclaim our freedom of choice, of experience, of Life. Here’s to the ones who dream their lives in all colours, and then set out to make it so!

What would you do differently, if you knew you could? What new choices would you make?

Day 26/100: rushing through work and then supporting a workshop session, I feel like I could do it all over again (surprised!)

Today was a ‘friday’ for me: tying a couple of loose ends and handing some tasks over, before my week long break in Cardiff and Dublin.

The workshop went amazingly well – I went into the session feeling honoured to be able to support the workshop, and I left feeling grateful to continue to be a partner and to be in service. The conversations brought the team together, and opened up possibilities on their journey forward together.

What a life! Being able to be engaged in meaningful work til 4 hours before your flight, rush home, shower, finish packing, and then onto the airport. Such a run on adrenaline buzz.

Even though i’m bonkers tired now, I feel like today was a super day, and given the chance, I would do it all over again!

Goodnights all! Onward to Cardiff, for a WALES of a time …

Day 25/100: reunion with family and friends, I feel loved and so very fortunate

Closing in on the Lunar New Year, its a tradition to have reunions with one’s family and friends. Its a time where people get together, to eat, to drink, and to be merry: kind of an extension of Christmas and New Year’s celebrations for us here in Singapore!

So, me and the family had a beautiful sumptuous meal yesterday. And today, I had reunion drinks with the pals in the office – such a gift to be surrounded with people whom I care for, and care for me in return.

The ones who are happy carry love in their heart, and share it with the people around them.

And this year – for the first time in my life – I will be skipping out on the actual celebrations with my family. Instead, I am doing a long hop over to the UK. Looking forward to a WALEs of a time, and to my second home: Dublin.

So i’m wondering, what does reunion mean or bring up for you?

Day 24/100: bearing witness to my clients’ growth and development, I feel honoured and inspired and grateful

Today i got to have great follow-up conversations with two clients on how they have been since our last engagement: how were their action plans coming along, what have they encountered and learnt, what’s next for them, and how else we could be of service.

And the chats were awesome. I was able to listen in and bear witness to the multitude of things that they have set to do, and were well on their journey to making a difference in their work and in their team.

Leaders are self-aware and take conscious steps to nurture their strengths, and build on their developmental areas. 

This self-growth process is one of constant learning and relearning, and opens the gateway for their team and organisation to shift and transform.

In our interactions and engagements, i am made aware of many areas that i personally can improve so that i can better be of service. The biggest lesson: to step up and step out. To better Trust in my knowledge, my expertise, and myself. And that we are all learning, anyway – any ‘mistakes’ are opportunities to go deeper in my developmental journey.

So, what are some strengths you’d like to hone and sharpen so you become even more effective?

And what might be some areas to consider developing, so they do not hold you back?

Day 23/100: rainy rainy rainy monday, I feel in need of comfort and wanting to be with people I love

The sky opened and poured, all night and day today. Floods that persisted, grounds that never dried. People running around, soaking and damp. Umbrellas, raincoats, and wet clothes. The cool humidity.

And there was a strange seasonal feel in the air – what I would call, rainmood – that brought people close to huddle in the warmth of company, that brought smiles and laughter to faces talking about their day and complaining about the rain that never stopped. 

It ushered in a weird sense of connection and of love, to me at least personally. To want to reach out and be with people who are dear to us, that together we will get through anything.

People who love are people who are happy.

So maybe the “love” came about as a way of wanting to regain and reconnect with more happiness, as dampened by the endless rain. 

And yes, the rain continues…

Day 22/100: receiving from my sister cookies that were my childhood favourite, I feel heartwarmed and slightly nostalgic

This is the Kueh Bangkit – it is a light and crumbly, melt in your mouth local delicacy that makes its rounds at Chinese New Year in Singapore. With taste notes of Pandan and Coconut, its an instant cookie-win with kids and adults.

And perhaps thats why I’ve loved it since I was little – the memories of sharing it, the taste experience of the cookie slowly dissolving in your mouth (right before you pop another in), and also memories and feelings of Family.

Family – like branches on a tree, we all grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one. (Unknown)

Feeling very heartwarmed to receive this from my sister; an apt reminder that family is here, and family is more important than the calories that follow.

What’s your favourite childhood food that makes you feel nostalgic?