Today I found myself triggered again by a workplace miscommunication – that another colleague had supposedly discussed and agreed something with me, but had never actually did so. 

I felt fucking angry, and pissed off! It was driven by being misunderstood and misrepresented. I had been doing all of the work, and yet there has been not only no recognition, but just misleading information around it. 

Anger and rage just surfaced over the undercurrent of being underappreciated and hurt and not valued; that below all my pissed-offness was the actual pain of not being seen, and not being acknowledged, and not having a team to work with (where everyone plays their part well).

It’s a lot easier to be angry at someone, than to tell them you’re hurt. (Tom Gates)

The awareness is on my tendency to push, cut away, and write people off before giving them a chance to make amends. Often, after getting hurt and not getting what I feel I should have gotten, I give up on people and foreclose any possibility of second chancing.

The lesson for me is to embrace my compassion – that others make mistakes, just like me. They want second chances, just like me. They are also struggling to learn and contribute, just like me. They have also been hurt before and struck out in anger, just like me.

Awareness Question: what pulls me into compassion? How can I use that as a trigger to be a better person?

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