Day 42/100: stepping into an additional role for work today, I felt stressed and incapable (on some level)

Today I was to support a workshop by co-facilitating with my boss. It was a brand new experience that went very well in the end, but my initial response was one of stress and feeling like I wasn’t sure if I could pull it off.

Woke up feeling drained and tired and panicky, spun by some story that I was going to mess things up, that the team was going to be tricky, that expectations were not going to be met, that I wasn’t capable enough, that it was all going to collapse…

And it was the fear of exposure – that people (those who know me, and those who don’t) were going to see me and observe what I could or could not do. There was the fear of judgment. There was fear of failure.

Fear is the resulting emotion of projecting a false future reality that does not meet our expectations.

So I knew to move forward and be able to flow, I had to allow fear to be here and dance with it. Fighting with emotions would drain me, and pull me out of the present moment. And so I allowed it to just be, and allowed myself to just be.

And though there were a couple of hiccups, and though there were so many learnings on hindsight, I did it. I breathed into self-certainty (even when fear was glowing and glaring in the background), and kept presencing. I had a great experience, and the team was able to benefit. Win-win.

And chilling out with a sip of #Nikka, my saturday is complete.

What has worked magically for you when fear arose? How have you worked with fear?

Day 26/100: rushing through work and then supporting a workshop session, I feel like I could do it all over again (surprised!)

Today was a ‘friday’ for me: tying a couple of loose ends and handing some tasks over, before my week long break in Cardiff and Dublin.

The workshop went amazingly well – I went into the session feeling honoured to be able to support the workshop, and I left feeling grateful to continue to be a partner and to be in service. The conversations brought the team together, and opened up possibilities on their journey forward together.

What a life! Being able to be engaged in meaningful work til 4 hours before your flight, rush home, shower, finish packing, and then onto the airport. Such a run on adrenaline buzz.

Even though i’m bonkers tired now, I feel like today was a super day, and given the chance, I would do it all over again!

Goodnights all! Onward to Cardiff, for a WALES of a time …